I used to really, really hate traveling by bus, for a variety of reasons (among them, that the contraptions make me a little queasy) — so it just goes to show you how dreadful flying has gotten, and how unreliable trains have become, that in recent years the long-distance coach has become my travel happy place.
The simplicity of bus travel is beautiful: show up 10 minutes before scheduled departure, pick up a reasonably priced ticket, toss your bag in the pile next to the bus, hop aboard and take a seat, any seat. On the other end, you grab your bag from the curb and you’re on your way.
No taking off shoes, no awkward pat-down by a strange man, no metal detectors, no bag tags, no nonsense.
But no more.
Starting tomorrow, Greyhound Canada is set to ban all carry-on luggage (excluding purses) from their buses, in the wake of a string of stabbings and — of course — this summer’s horrific beheading/cannibalism incident.
I can well appreciate the need for increased security measures (currently up here, there is not even the token security screening of U.S. Greyhound operations) but banning carry-on is absurd, and here’s why:
1. It won’t make us any safer.
How many knife-wielding assailants do you know who carry their weapons in their wheelie bags? None? Yeah, me neither.
Everyone I know who carries a knife (and, admittedly, that’s not a whole heap of people) does so on their person. So simply banning carry-on, with no accompanying pat-downs or metal detectors, doesn’t do a damn thing to prevent knife crime on buses.
2. It puts all our valuables at risk.
When the hapless young clerk at the station informed me of the new policy today, the first words out of my mouth were, “But what about my laptop?!”
Greyhound Canada doesn’t actually expect me to let their drivers carelessly chuck my laptop bag (also jammed with camera equipment and electronics) under the bus, and then dump it on the curb at the end of the ride, for anyone to walk away with while I’m still on the bus, waiting for Susie Slow to zip her coat up in the middle of the aisle?
Ummmm, to quote Cher from Clueless, “As if!”
No way, no how. Without a secure check-in system, asking us to put our most important valuables under the bus is completely unreasonable.
3. It ignores the realities of long-distance travel.
This summer, I took the bus from New Orleans to Los Angeles — a forty-hour ride that was tough enough as is, but which would have been pure hell under this new policy.
Besides knives, let’s take a quick tally of the things Greyhound Canada has just banned: books, laptops, snack foods, water bottles (unless it fits in your purse), diaper bags, changes of clothes, deodorant/toothpaste/hairbrush/etc (again, unless it fits in your purse), ohh, I could go on and on.
Last time I checked, the only amenities available on board a Greyhound bus were the ones you carried on yourself. Goodbye, amenities. Hello, vastly increased discomfort.
4. It’s a complete corporate cop-out.
Note that both actions suggested above — incorporating metal detection and pat-downs, and creating a secure check-in system — would require staff and money. While simply banning carry-on, putting all the responsibility on passengers, is free.
I’m no fan of pat-downs and bag tags. The past few incidents have been tragic and upsetting, but I’m willing to take my chances with the psychopaths of this world — so long as I can keep my laptop and a snack handy. But if Greyhound Canada was serious about our safety, about preventing these incidents, airport-style security measures would be the way to go.
As it stands, all they’ve managed to do is inconvenience the vast majority of their customers, and put our belongings at risk, without making us one single whisker safer.
Way to go, Greyhound. I can tell this policy came straight from the finest minds in the transportation industry.
Photo by njt4148 (Creative Commons)
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13 Comments... join the discussion!
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Blah…yet another reason that throw up in my mouth every time I see a greyhound bus. I've had nothing but bad experiences here in the US as well… So if purses are still legal, maybe I could put on some lipstick and stick a "prada" label on my laptop bag?
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This is absurd! That's paranoia multiplied. Really. What have laptops, cameras, water bottles, snacks, books (BOOKS!), and diaper bags to do with having higher and better security? I am at a loss. Where can I protest?
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Absurd. What's a guy to do then, claim I have a manpurse just so I can bring on a purse? I'm taking greyhound up on christmas, lets hope they don't enforce this…
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Agreed, this seems almost too crazy to be real. But as I say, I spoke to 3 employees today, none of whom were willing to promise that anyone would make an exception for my laptop. Here's hoping that when it comes down to enforcing this, someone will see reason and let us take basic necessities on board!
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This is about a dumb as it gets. What next? Mandating kevlar vests in case someone manages to bring on a knife anyway? And people wonder why public transportation in North America is so pitiful, this is why.
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Update: The Plot Thickens!! Just spoke to a receptionist at corporate head office who had NO IDEA what I was talking about re: the new security policy. Super. Eventually she seemed to find something on her computer that referred to it (I think – or she was just humouring me) and told me there was a clearly stated exemption for laptops. Hmmm. Now all that's left to do is convince the folks at my local station that the "head office" (aka clued-out receptionist girl) gave me permission to carry my laptop bag on board…
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Ha, clever!
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Eva- Is Greyhound defining what a purse is in terms of size? I carry a Baggallini bag as a purse, which is big enough to fit notebooks and two laptops! I carry it on planes as my "purse," so wondering if I could get away with that on Greyhound, too.
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Sounds like a company that is in spiral. I can practically hear the conference call where this decision was made. You're right – this is a dumb, reactive move. Good luck getting your local office to call the head office….
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I buss greyhound 40 hours just to get to vegas last January in the middle of this horrific storm. They treated us like unwanted refugees, making us draw straws practically! Matador should launch it's fleet of pimped out electric-bio buses and run these fools out of town!
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I live in Canada and take a Greyhound commuter bus a few times a week… with no forewarning they started to "enforce" this "policy" this week, just before Christmas, when more folks are traveling, and carrying more crap than usual. A nightmare.
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This is rich – buried deep in the press section of the grey hound site: "Greyhound is not publicly releasing all of the details, including other measures currently in place, in order to protect the efficacy of its security program. [...] however, the company felt it was important the public be informed of the screening and luggage restrictions leading up to the Christmas holiday travel period to ensure they are prepared." ” target=”_blank”>http://www.greyhound.ca/en/company/press/2008/Pro...
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